Threads that meander to jokes will be moved to here. Share those musician jokes but there are some great ones here: http://www.ducksdeluxe.com/jokes.html.
One of my favorites:
What’s the difference between a fiddle and a violin ?
Who cares – neither one’s a guitar
http://www.break.com/index/terrible-singer-gets-mad-at-autotune-1947526
This is what the new generation regards as singing. Very funny.
Oh man, that’s hilarious but that poor kid was having a very bad day! Thanks Denis!
Heres a bloody joke for ya’s. A man tries to juggle a carreer music licensing and have a normal family life at the same time!
Hilarity/Chaos ensues!
Excuse my ignorance, ive been drinkin a little.
so back to the life of the playboy library writers, i went absolutely crazy on monday – actually made 57 tracks in one day…i so need to work on my lines for the women – i think we need badges, to make it easier to identify us amongst the crowds , i want to go to that nightclub sip my cup of tea at the bar, watch the super dj from amsterdam chatting about his 1st release surrounded by hot smokin girls, then the girls catch a glimpse of me in my wolly hat my mum made me and see my badge, Library Don, they know I am 1st class, top of the division, another league in the music buisness, they shuffle over to me, like cats around a bowl of milk, and one gathers the nerve to ask the question, ‘ how many, how many have you done ?’, my eyes roll, left then right, i catch the eastern european girls eye and i smile ‘ so many baby, so many, at last count it was 3000 new tracks last year ‘, she smiles, her legs go weak and i call the taxi. library life , its a hard road but we know it pays for the high life.
Must have plug-in!!! http://www.sfxmachine.com/tppro/
Be warned MichaelL: My bass bone blowing, pizza delivering brethren have a vast network. Another crack like that one and you and your extended family will never get a pizza delivered hot, or on time, ever, ever, again…
Sorry for mucking up the Crucial page Art, I’ll behave now ;~)
Maybe a Library Writer Humor page is needed
Cheers!
To get back on task, I just had my fastest Crucial Rejection yet. Submitted Friday afternoon, rejected Tuesday morning. I think it was the bass trombone lick they didn’t like. I’ll try kazoo next time. Yes, there seriously was bass bone in that cue. But I must add that one of my 5 Crucial accepts features the bass trombone, so there MichaelL!
OK… so probably heard the one about the trombonist who accidentally left his trombone on the back seat of his car overnight. In the morning he went out and found his car windows smashed, and there four more trombones on the back seat next to his!
In the interest of hot pizza, I shall jest no more at trombonists’ expense.
As a fan of jazz — and brass in general — I love the instrument.
Cheers,
Michael
Definition of a perfect pitch: you throw a trombone in the dumpster and it lands on top of the accordian which is resting on a banjo.
Adam, I re-read my post. My bad. What I meant was these posts are so funny it would be worth paying for. I had a nice, out loud belly laugh. Thank you for that! I dont get nearly enough of them sitting alone, all day and night, in my studio, the only company is my dog (who farts), wondering if the last 48 hours I spent creating the ultimate cue will be rejected by Crucial in 3 seconds of listening. Hey, we all know library writers are chic magnets. I mean come on, we’ve all been there right? Sitting at a bar with 3 or 4 hotties begging us to share what reverb we used on the snare in that late night public access cable spot. Hey, just try being ME. Can you imagine what it’s like for me when they find out I also play bass trombone?!? Dude, the Beatles had it easy …
😉
Bass trombone?
Do you know what they call a beautiful woman on a trombone player’s arm?
…a tattoo.
Sorry..couldn’t resist. 😉
Alan – soz dude – i read yours wrong – got the wrong end of it – it seems you partake in the most gentlemanly sport known on earth…women. i hear u bro – its not till you get in the library game it takes off ! i rem working as s barman, in a hotel as the bed changer, as a semi pro footballer. none of it prepared me for library life. keep strong !
you know what happens to freshmen jd…you gotta meet us round the back after work…we going to the bar…we got a load of hot young girls who are the library writters groupies…we keep it quiet but its true. just as jim morrison had his groupies or mick jagger had his…well there is a MASSIVE growing movement of girls who tag along to library writters…we gonna show you one hell of a night !!! a lotta brazilliania girls are really moving into our circles now. we sit round the table discuss stats, sales, micro sales at $3.00 a pop, diff plug ins, 64 k probs, the girls dont understand it but thats part of the appeal. we drive them crazy. put you best on for tonight man. being a freshman is good.
Adam,
Humor gets us through the musical tough patches, and I really appreciate yours! Library writer groupies?!? Love it.
completely dude. i was out in a trendy fashionable high end bar, on the table next to me were some real high flying stock brokers with about 5 high end upper class women. you know the type. so im sat there with my friend talking library in my old jeans and baggy jumper. then to my suprise the women are earwiggin’ what i was talking about. i was chatting about having 20 sales today of my catologue… it wasnt long before i was approached and … the rest is history… the library game… it make you a player.
OK Art, these posts may make the subscription fee a little more tolerable ;~)
I like the pun, “girls who TAG along to library writers”!!
🙂
“girls who TAG along to library writers”!!
Somewhere in there is a T-Shirt just waiting to be printed!
HA!
Adam, you are the best!
Made my day!
oh shucks thanks ! i was being ironic to the chap who said hes a newbee, the irony is that i imagine most library writers are like me , pretty quiet and would rather never say we make music or anything and are prob fairly meek , i think its nicer to actually keep the fact you make music fairly downbeat rather than someone who is boastful etc – i know quite a few dj’s and they have pretty big heads, and i can see the irony of mr dj boasting they had two ep’s out last year and for me to be asked and quietly say ‘me ? little me, oh i just released 1200 to 1500 tracks last year. ha ! but of course i am being daft etc. had a really hard week as it happens but fortunately just about keeping my head above water, its funny as your strength to carry on whilst im not seeing mega sales or anything is hard to find inside yourself at times. after some self pity etc, ive got my mojo back thank god. lots thanks to reading everyones enthusiasm here, its so helpful.