by Robin Munson
Long, long ago in the faraway kingdom of Pittsburgh three little princesses were groomed for “The Business”. The King and Queen — my parents — were frustrated singers and songwriters. We were schlepped from voice teachers to dance teachers to piano teachers and acting teachers. We made command performances in our living room on a regular basis, singing standards from the American songbook — Rogers and Hart, Gershwin, Cole Porter, Lerner and Lowe. . . (NOTE: It’s impossible for me to say whether I would have wanted a life in The Business with different parents, but that’s a topic for another day.)
At 3, I dreamed of one day being a ballerina. But not all little girls have the requisite long legs and athletic coordination for the Ballet Russe, so by the time I was ten years old, it was pretty clear that wasn’t going to happen.
My mother organized a group of girls including my sisters and me. We sang at country club luncheons and for charity events. I think in the five or so years we were together I made a grand total of $40.00. (Yes, we got paid, but after expenses, I think we each made maybe $2.50 per show.) That’s when I understood: You have to have a day job!
I decided to keep taking dance lessons because I now wanted to become an actress. But at the tender age of 15 at an intense little acting school in Greenwich Village run by a stern, no-nonsense woman named Renata Mannhardt (The name says it all) we were warned that if we chose to become actors and actresses she did NOT want to hear about us having a girlfriend or a boyfriend or (heaven forbid) getting married. She said , “When you are an actor you are married to the Theater!”. And for that entire summer, that’s what I was: Married to the Theater. Well, I crossed acting off my list.
Predictably, at 16 started listening to Joan Baez. I pleaded for a guitar and began to learn folk ballads. I listened to Laura Nyro and learned to play all her songs on the piano. I listened to Joni Mitchell and Peter Paul and Mary. I thought, “Oh!!! I want to be a dark, brooding, soulful, and tortured chanteuse!” Naturally, I began writing songs.
I won’t bore you with the details,but I learned over decades of trial-and-error, heartbreak, and soul-crushing rejection that if I had talent, it was in the ear of the beholder – and I couldn’t find many beholders. And it really didn’t matter much anyway. Because it turned out that what my parents had told me over and over was true: “You have to be in the right place at the right time.” God, how I hated hearing that! How I hated knowing that!
So, Creativity 101. Lesson I for me, anyway:. Follow your dream, and if it leads you down a blind alley to a dead end street, maybe you find a new dream that leads to somewhere you never thought you would wind up. I must have re-imagined my dream a dozen times. Each time I refined it, reshaped it, reconsidered it, I found myself in strange new circumstances. It was scary. But it was never dull. The creativity isn’t only about the song, or the symphony, or the poem, or the painting. Step back and take another look. You are creating your life.
Thanks for the post I really could relate. People outside of this creative world really have no way of understanding or relating to it. It’s nice to hear other peoples stories of how they balance all this out!
@Kenny
Hi Kenny,
Thank you for your very thoughtful comment. And you make an important point — Being a nice guy (or nice girl) makes all the difference in the world. Once you’ve gotten your foot in the door, all the talent in the world won’t save you if you can’t make a human connection with the decision makers. And you also make the point that honing your craft is vital too – And I would guess that it’s been helpful not only for your career, but for your sense of self-worth and self-confidence. You knew you had room for improvement, and rather than resting on your laurels, you put in the work. That’s terrific. I wish you continued success.
So much truth in this story. It’s all about right place and time. I had luck and got a gig with a full time touring band at the age of 20. Never actually dreamed of being a full time musician, and I was certainly not the best player around to get the gig. Guess it helps being a nice guy, know a few people and being on time for rehersals and early morning flights 😉
Today i’m in my mid 30’s. I’m still a nice guy and I play a lot better than I did back then. I know a lot of peopleand I’m still on time for appointments, even though I almost missed a very early morning flight a few months ago 😉
I’m doing lots of cool gigs and tours and living the dream thatt I actually never dreamed myself.
Point is, I doubt any of this would have happened if I had not been in the right place at the right time when I was 20. I never planned a career as a professional musician, I just suddenly got so many gigs that I didn’t have time for a dayjob 😉
Really great observations – Gee, can I relate! To all of it. I have always “hedged my bets” with the business. I’ve had all kinds of day jobs over the years – I actually went back to school in my thirties and got a master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy – got licensed, practiced for a couple of years – but found out it just wasn’t a good fit for me. (I worried too much – occupational hazard, I guess.) But always writing music throughout all of the changes. A few years ago I decided to take a yoga teacher training and am now a registered yoga teacher. (I have a talent for finding occupations that don’t pay enough to feed a gerbil. LOL) But I do love teaching yoga, so I teach three classes a week – and try to balance that with my music. Of all of the incarnations of my life as a music creator, this is the happiest I’ve been. Art and I work together in our home, we send the music off and we make some money at it, too. All in all, it feels like I’ve (we’ve) found the sweet spot – Very grateful. So all those left turns brought me here. Wish I could have known back then how well everything would work out. Thanks for your comment.
Oh, I know what you mean! Once you’ve got the bug – well, you’ve got it for life! You’re right – The road *is* long and narrow, and I have found, very twisty and turn-y, too. Thanks for your comment.
My mom had a record store in Dallas Texas while I was growing up. We did the “home Theater” gig as well (at her request). As a young boy I listened to all the music of the late 50’s, 60’s and early 70’s in her record store. It ruined me for life. I’ve been a musician and songwriter for 30+ years. And still searching for that dream.
The road is long and narrow, but leads to El Dorado.
I have found that not completely relying on music alone to create my income was actually very freeing and let me create without having to worry as much about money, and have enjoyed my new career as a social worker, and for the most part still allows me the freedom to put plenty of hours in as a musician. On the other hand, having a day job and splitting energies likes that probably does mean that I may not create the “masterpiece” I would ordinarily have if I was focused on just music alone. Back some time ago, I felt disgruntled and harbored some resentment and dislike for the whole music business, only to return to it later and realize the creative side was a part of my makeup that couldn’t really be replaced by anything else. So do both now and enjoying it. Easier when you don’t have kids ….still want to retire early though and enjoy just working on music, which career-wise was my first love and passion. That said, treating it as a business (and at first a primary then secondary)career was always part of the point. In other words never really got to enjoying it for it’s own sake, always trying to figure out what to do with it, where to sell it, how to make money at it, that has always been part of the goal. Think I saw on Facebook, this was on a list of rules of living, to find your passion and try to figure out how to make money with it. Good advice…..
So applicable to us… well written too. Thanks for posting
Thanks, Michael. I’m glad you enjoyed it – And nice to know that you can relate, too.
Great read, and so true Robin!
Thanks for posting.
Michael