[cozyhand3]

Hey Beatslinger! Thank you for weighing in!!

Your suggestions hadn’t occurred to me. When you say check out LA Trade Publications, which one(s) do you feel would be most useful? It’s been years since I used e.g., Hollywood Reporter (if they’re still around) and do publications actually have requests for songs for projects? I used to subscribe to Billboard and remember they would have articles about who’s doing what…but I’m green as green can be about it now.

If not, that’s cool, I’ll run down to the bookstore and see what I can find:)

Stay well my friend.

[cozyhand3]

Hey James,

My initial impression is that the song’s close to recording. Nice job fellas!

I would say, however, some cosmetic lyric re-writes i.e., 2nd vs. may be wise to consider. Specifically the first, second and fourth lines. “Code” stuck out to me. You might consider shortening the 4 line something like, “We can/will be great, forever we/we’ll stand” something that smooths the line out. Spend each word like a hundred dollar bill:)

While the chorus (musically) works, you might try “lifting” the melody…make it a bit different. To my mind, there’s not enough differentiation chord wise and/or melodically from the verses to bring home the bacon so to speak:) Obviously, I could be very wrong about this. Just a thought.
Lastly, I really think you guys should consider a female vocal. Not necessarily a “tween” but more mature “teen.” A torch song for the women’s movement comes to mind. Empowering sort of thing.
Thanks for sharing. Hope some of this helps. Look forward to hearing the end product. Good luck my friend!

[cozyhand3]

Yes Dannyc. Crucial’s still non-exclusive.

[cozyhand3]

Man, this thread was very interesting. Hits so close to home. Thank you all for your thoughts!

[cozyhand3]

cyberk91 great idea and thank you very much. I’ll pass this on to my co-writer. I appreciate you taking the time to weigh in!

[cozyhand3]

jdt9517,

I appreciate your comments. Thank you kindly!

[cozyhand3]

cyberk91

Thank you very much for your time and comments. I appreciate your plugin advice too!

[cozyhand3]

Thanks RoboKirk…that’s my co-writer handling vocals on this one. I appreciate you weighing in!
Good luck my friend.

[cozyhand3]

Thank you very much!

[cozyhand3]

Thank you very much for your comments. AND congrats on your “first” library deal:)

[cozyhand3]

Great looking website and music to match. Sounds like you have indeed been doing your homework!
Good luck my friend!

[cozyhand3]

Great work BenG! Sorta reminds me of something used in a Superman movie.
Thanks for sharing.

[cozyhand3]

Greetings Keltech,

When you say, “the competition seems to fierce nowadays not sure if i stand much of a chance” …hmmm…well you’re right about the fierce competition part, but I believe you would be better served were you to drop the latter part of your statement and start submitting your material to lib’s and see for yourself. You may be surprized.

Some nice sounding material you have there. Good luck!

Jt

[cozyhand3]

Michael,
Point taken!
While on rare occasions it has been requested of me to write this way or think that way as you’ve alluded to (assignments), but mostly I do what feels good to me with hopefully increasing awareness of what is commercially viable in a particular genre, before I spend time and money to record them. I do find at times myself when I divorce certain aspects of what I’m writing…and marry something else…sometimes the blend of the old and new does indeed make the song better. Sometime an entirely new approach is required. On the other hand, sometimes things will fall into my lap like ripe cherries:)
Michael thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here!
Jesse

[cozyhand3]

LAwriter,

It’s worth a lot. Nicely put! Especially the “shoehorn” part!

Thank you so much, LAwriter.

Jesse

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